MARRIAGE AND QADAR
source: silsilat ul-hudaa wa nnoor, tape no. 134
Question #5: “Is marriage fate or is it a choice?”
Shaykh al-Albaani (rahimahullaah) answers:
“What is the difference between this question and the question: (is it fate or a choice that) one is rich and another is poor, and one is beautiful and one is ugly, and so on. No doubt, what is decreed for a person is an affair that will happen and none can repel it. However, he is required tostrive; then, he is not asked about the outcome of the matter if whatever happened was contrary to what he chose.
So (let’s say) this person was engaged to a woman and was eager for her to be righteous. Then with time, it was revealed that she was bad. Of course, this was fate. But everything is decreed, as (the Prophet) (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘Everything is decreed, even laziness and being active.’ However, this does not mean that a person, within his capabilities, is not required to strive to choose that which is good. No, this is something else. A person must strive, then the rest is up to Allaah, tabaarak wa ta’aala.
So the answer is: of course it is fate, but we don’t wantto understand ‘fate’ as some people say, that a person puts his trust in Allaah, and that’s it. No, (rather) he takes the means, then he puts his trust in the Lord of all lords.”